Letting Go

It's been more than a month.  It's been six and a half weeks, actually.  Six and a half weeks since I reclaimed myself and my life.  Six and a half weeks since I learned to say "no".  Six and a half weeks since I decided to stand up for myself.  Six and a half weeks since I realized that sometimes love is letting go and pulling back.  Six and a half weeks since I realized that I am responsible for myself and my decisions and no one else's.

The feelings of guilt and the responsibility to "fix" things are not completely gone.  But, I no longer feel bad about things that aren't actually mine to feel bad about. It's been surprisingly... freeing.

And I am free now. Free to be myself.  Free to think for myself.  Free to move forward with my life.  Free to chase dreams I never allowed myself to fully cultivate before.  Free to make my own mistakes and then fix them. 

This is kinda scary to me.  I have to admit.  But it's also sooo exciting! Now there are so many possibilities! I know God has a specific plan for me and I can't wait to see what that is.  I think I know the general direction, but the specifics aren't clear yet.  And that's okay.  I'm content to move forward without seeing the whole picture. In fact, I like it better that way.

God has been working in my heart in so many ways.  And through the most unlikely people.  He is showing me more of what His love actually is and what it means to love, and I am so excited to take that love and pass it on to others as He moves me where He wants me to be.

♥Rebekah